The Early Days with Shanann


Chris:  I mean, it felt like it was, you know, I think when you said it was more like a [inaudible 00:23:18], it was kind of like, I’ve never been pursued by anybody before. I was the one trying to purse. Because when me and Shanann met, it was like she was always pushing me away, kind of.

Grahm/Dave:  She was sick for a while, right?

Chris:  Yeah, she had just got diagnosed with lupus and she was on a bunch of different medications and stuff. I guess I wasn’t her type.

Grahm/Dave:  You weren’t her type?

Chris:  I wasn’t her type. She told me back she first —

Grahm/Dave:  She told you that?

Chris:  Yeah.

Tammy:  I remember you telling me that.

Chris:  When we first met, it was at a movie theater. My cousin’s ex-wife set us up.

Tammy:  You were dressed like shit, weren’t you? That’s what you told me.

Chris:  Yeah, I didn’t know that —

Grahm/Dave:  Didn’t have any game?

Tammy:  So, she was fancy, and he was in shorts and tennis shoes, right?

Chris:  I should have known – the doorman was in a suit and I was just like, “This isn’t good.”

Tammy:  It was a fancy theater, right?  

Chris:  It was in Charlotte. It was called the Epicenter and apparently, they give you champagne and all kinds of stuff.

Grahm/Dave:  Oh, this is a fancy date night theater. Movie theater?

Tammy:  I think he came like he was going to a Cinemax.

Chris:  Like I was going to a bonfire or something. You watch a normal movie, but drink champagne and like have Jack and Coke inside the theater and just sit there and whatever. When she first saw me, she was like, “I should probably just turn and talk to the bartender a little more.” I was persistent trying to pursue her because I liked her. Even on our first date, I couldn’t even eat anything really, I was just like —

Grahm/Dave:  Because you were so nervous?

Chris:  Yeah. She was just like chowing down. She was like, “You eat like a bird.” And she talked to my parents months later, she was like, “This guy just never ate.” And they were like, “This guy eats like a trash disposal.” And she was like, “Not around me.” I was so nervous. I was always like shaking and everything. I was always pursuing her and finally, I just grew onto her, like with her medications and stuff – she had like eight bottles of medication – so, I would always get her day and nights and put them all in that little flip open —

Grahm/Dave:  Pill box.

Chris:  — yeah, all that kind of stuff. And I would always be around her. I even went to her colonoscopy. And she said after that, she knew I was kind of a keeper. It’s like, who goes to a colonoscopy after two months with somebody.

Tammy:  That’s a little soon.

Chris:  Well, she needed a ride. She was like, “You want to go to a colonoscopy with me?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I even sat with her while she drank that nasty stuff all day.

Grahm/Dave:  That’s a good test.

Tammy:  Where she’s in the bathroom all night?

Chris:  That clear stuff that doesn’t really taste clear. It felt a great – it was a great relationship; everything was great.

Grahm/Dave:  Are you talking about with Kessinger?

Chris:  No, talking with Shanann and like the first year. And my parents never – I don’t know – my mom was always kind of hesitant?

Grahm/Dave:  Why?

Chris:  I was the baby, I guess. I never, you know, plus I never had a girlfriend in high school, so it was kind of like, she never really saw me —

Grahm/Dave:  Oh, interesting. So, she’s watching her baby walk out a little bit.

Chris:  When I turned 18 and I graduated, I never moved back, lived at home. My sister moved back and forth.

Grahm/Dave:  How old were you when you met Shanann?

Chris:  I was 25. It was 2010.

Tammy:  So, no serious girlfriends before that?

Chris:  Nothing more than like six months or so. There were some girls here and there, but just nothing worth like – the last girlfriend I had before Shanann, she just actually got divorced and I should never have done that. It was more of like, I was kind of like helping her getting through her divorce, it seemed like. She went off with somebody else. I’m like, “Oh. That’s nice to know.”

Grahm/Dave:  You’re the rebound guy?

Chris:  Pretty much. That’s how it goes.

Grahm/Dave:  Would you say that in your relationships with women, it seems to me – and you tell me if I’m wrong – it seems to me like you’re attracted to maybe more a dominant personality?

Chris:  It seems like it because I’ve been more of the – just reserved. I just kind of like go with the flow. Shanann usually made all of the decisions, it seemed like.

Grahm/Dave:  I get that. I’m the same. I don’t know what it is.

Tammy:  I don’t think that’s right with you, but.

Grahm/Dave:  I know it’s hard to keep bouncing back and forth – one of the reasons we’re here is we just keep telling ourselves, “Chris just does not fit the mold.” It just blows us away what happened. And so, we will do a little bit of bouncing back and forth and that’s really just to get to know you a little bit better because we never really got that chance, did we?

Chris:  I’ve met you twice. I’ve met you once. Probably like three – met her three or four times, probably.

More from later in the interview

Grahm/Dave:   And you helped her all through her Lupus and you were at the colonoscopy and you’re jacking up the car.

Chris:  I mean, any time she had an issue with her car [inaudible 01:57:35], I just got it to work, see what I could do with it, I would do whatever I could to help.

Grahm/Dave:  Well, I think one of the reasons Frank and Sandy work so well is because Frank lets Sandy be Sandy. And they probably [inaudible 01:57:47] on you that you let Shanann be Shanann.

Chris:  Yeah, I didn’t try to change her. I just let her be who she is. She’s gung-ho. She knows what she wants and she’s going to go get it and I didn’t say, “Hey, you can’t do that,” and that’s what her first husband did. He controlled everything. He tried to be Sandy and it didn’t work. And she turned into almost like me. She was kind of like laid back and let him do what he needed to do but then I think she learned after that, that she could just be herself and with me, she could definitely be herself. So, that’s how it worked.